October 17, 2010

Who do you love more

Yesterday we left the Northern Vava'u Tongan Island group. We really enjoyed our time there and some of the memorable moments were....

*Alex spearing his first fish and telling me, "check went the checklist in my head"......
*Amelia and I paddling around a huge amazingly beautiful cave and singing "Doe a deer......"
*Watching as Alex and Graham dove down in front of a rock wall and then swam for 20 feet under water to enter an under water cave......YIKES.....bit nerve wracking waiting for them to resurface
*Watching Amelia being lifted into the air by the spinnaker (a huge kite sail) on our friends boat Mojo and seeing her fly...so cool
*Alex and I going off alone to troll for fish and then finding a beautiful snorkel spot and the two of us pulling the dinghy along behind us as we snorkeled
*All of us enjoying meals and happy hours with all of the amazing people we have met on this journey

Our welcome to the Tongan Ha'apai group of island was also very memorable. Last night after we got our anchor down and were just sitting down to dinner a group of about 4 whales passed directly behind our boat. The all blew water from their spouts and it was better than the other times we have seen them because the ocean was flat calm. It was totally amazing.

Schooling has begun for Amelia aboard Artemo and I guess since it has been a slow start this year the first few days have been ......challenging. Alex is still awaiting his books so he knows he will be working extra hard once they arrive. Amelia and I are both so similar....head strong and stubborn that sometimes the sparks fly. It still shocks me how much emotion she can evoke in me. I actually have to remind myself that I am the adult. Thank goodness though that we finally hit our groove the other day.

Yesterday on our way here Amelia informed me that I love Alex more. A long conversation followed where I explained to her that it wasn't possible for me to love one of them more than the other. I told her how I love them differently but no more or no less. I told her that I wouldn't change a thing about her. I told her that I love that she is passionate, head strong, opinionated, inquisitive, wild, artistic, raw, big emotions, colorful, strong, carefully fearless, cuddly, loving and all mine. None of this seemed to convince her though. I let her know that it is in Alex's personality to avoid conflict, gage someone else's feelings and diffuse situations and to throw in humor where necessary. I let her know that all of these traits make it so there are a few less waves with him but they do not make me love him more. She still was not convinced. At this point I said, "Take Nanny Donna (my mom) for example.....she has 5 kids who are all completely different and you can see that she loves us all equally." At this point in unison Amelia and Alex say...."No way, she loves Aunty Ann-Marie the most." LOL......so now at the end of a conversation where I was hoping to make Amelia feel better I am left wondering....."Mom, Who do you love more?"


  1. I understand all of my children's differences and love each one of them. I would die for each of them as you would for each of your children. Ann Marie was my first and I remember being worried because I did not believe that I could love another child as much as I did her. I was so wrong, love is one thing that there is always more of in your heart. Each birth overwhelmed me with the love I immediatly felt for my baby, for each one is and always will be my baby. I have 11 grandchildren and love each of them. Differently because each is different but oh how I love them. Look into your heart and you know you are loved, not for things you have done but just because you are. You know that no matter what happens in life this will not change.

  2. Julie I tell you you should be a writer.I never laughed so hard when I read this blogg. I could just see your face and you asking your mom who she loved more. To funny! I also expected Rob to get on here and say we all know that mum loves me the most. But he didnt ...whats up with that?

    Its not uncommon I guess for kids to feel that they are not the choisen one or most loved. I have 4 kids and none of them feel they are the most loved. :) I loved the way you explained it all out to her. It got me thinking about all the positive things I see in my kids and what makes each of them unique in their own ways.

    Thanks Julie I think you made a lot of people sit back and think.

    auntie Theresa

  3. Hey Trese, Rob's not on here because he knows mom loves me more :). LOL
    Na na na na na na!

  4. Millie, i can relate. i always thought my mom loved your dad more too. He seemed to get away with so much. He was spoiled ;)...back then it was hard for me to understand,but as everyone has said, each relationship is unique. Being the baby sucks sometimes and also being a girl. But i agree, your mom loves you both the same. I didnt see it then, but i sure see it now. That is the art of being a parent. The endless love, commitment and admiration we have for each of our children. And for me being a momma now with two wonderful very different children, i can see how each parent loves each of their children for very different reasons, and i would never change their personalities That is what makes you unique.
    Love you guys and miss you all!!! xoxox