Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

 As I get older I find I question my decisions more than when I was young. It's like my knowledge and experience are a set of handcuffs. I envy my youth and naivety. Decision making was so much easier then without any doubt.

Graham and I managed to jump through all the covid travel hoops and the "pack up our lives in 13 days" hoops and now here we are out of our 10 day quarantine and climbing up the ladder of Ailsa. A 46 foot, 2008 Island Packet sailboat in Grenada, out of the water and in the marina's yard. 

As we stepped into the cockpit it was a bit overwhelming. We put an offer on this vessel sight unseen and had moved mountains to get here.  This time it feels like we are buying a home not just a sailboat and for some reason I feel a heavy pressure to make the right decision. We put conditions on the offer, so now was our time to be sure.

Graham immediately started going over everything outside and I headed down below. The yacht broker followed me. Ailsa had been tidied down below but you could tell the previous owners had left her in a hurry once covid had started. Things were a bit messy and given it had been awhile surfaces, cupboards and storage areas

were dirty. It wasn't the grand reveal I was hoping for. I felt a bit of a "gulp" in my throat as the broker watched my face and tried to get me talking. I felt stunned to silence and I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts as I inspected every inch and began to wonder "are we making the right decision". He wasn't having any of that and began to ask me questions. I was getting irritated. He wanted to go over systems with me and I was thinking "Hold on Nelly, I haven't signed anything yet".

I kept trying to see past the mess to the bones but my expectations were so high it was hard. I was wishing Graham would return from up top and save me from being rude to our very kind broker. I finally had to join him on deck and I could see he had found his own surprises. He let us know that when he opened the anchor locker at the bow of the boat he saw a very rusted and corroded windlass which is used to raise the anchor. The state of the locker also caused him to pause for a moment and adjust his expectations. 

Needless to say, we returned back to our resort that night with a lot to think about. For those of you who followed our adventures on Artemo you know we may have jumped too quickly into a full on "project" boat. We didn't want to make the same mistake here. 

Over the next month we had Ailsa surveyed and took her for a sea trial sail. We also carefully examined every inch of her and her equipment. We priced out replacing the windlass, cleaning up the anchor locker and a few other odds and ends we found. We considered time and effort required and finally after probably way too much deliberation and negotiation we successfully purchased our new floating home. We are excited to fix the things we found, add some new things we want and give her a good cleaning to make her our own. This will also give us an opportunity to learn a lot about Ailsa in the process. 

The bones of this boat are stellar. She has a full keel, a center cockpit and a huge 11 by 7 foot aft deck. The boat is built to take care of us in a storm and is rock solid at 34,500 lbs! Down below there is 7 feet of headroom with raised windows surrounding the saloon. The navigation station has a comfy captain chair and there are two separate accommodations at either end of the boat both with a bathroom and seated shower. The galley kitchen is spacious with a huge fridge and separate freezer and even a separate drink fridge drawer. The saloon is big enough for a few of us to do yoga in.....which I am always planning to begin doing....tomorrow ;-).

The other pluses are that the previous owners believed in redundancy and there seems to be a second of everything, including auto pilot, alternators, pumps, etc. The cupboards are full!

We did good with this boat. I feel good saying this now but man decisions are hard as you get older. I'm looking forward to sharing our adventures and renovations with you all!